Accepting applications for summer girlfriends. Please fill out this form and post attn: @Froggacuda: http://ping.fm/23erO

More parents need to do this (via @Reddit)...so their kids can get a job when they're socially researched... http://i.imgur.com/xyP5K.jpg

"You're a bat-faced, bug-eyed, booger-nosed, baloney-brained, beetle-butt!" ~Calvin at his Candid Opinions stand

Just a reminder: Paul's Boutique by the #BeastieBoys is my number two album of ALL TIME; listening through it now... http://ping.fm/vpoGk

Unbelievably touching and true @Coldplay cover of "You Gotta Fight" on May 4th... http://t.co/hsFueOiq

"They got a committee to get me off tha block / Because I say my rhymes loud and I say them non-stop" #BeastieBoys

The poetry of my musical generation is the mashup. @TheWhitePanda: Biggie vs Tom Petty; checkmate! http://www.thewhitepanda.com

OH NO! Junior Seau dead apparently of self-inflicted gunshot wound! @SeanMBreen http://ping.fm/P4Esm

Yo mama so dumb she spent two hours looking at a juice box because it said concentrate.

They don't think it be like it is, but it do.

@GodzillaSays: "I have no reason to save humans...they're always bullying me." ~from Ghidorah the 3 Headed Monster

Happy Pig in a Blanket Day!

Yes the FBI DNS Changer rumor is real-if you are infected, you'll "lose ur Interwebz"; affects Mac + PC; check here: http://www.dns-ok.us/

For those of you wanting to know when obscure, funny holidays are, try subscribing to this via iCal or Google Cal: http://ping.fm/ypPr0

Happy National Garlic Day!

Must. Have. For. Desert. Trip. These are the iiissshhhtt!!! @ZombieTargets https://buyzombietargets.com/

2020: 1/5 of all US Citizens will be over 65; 1/5 of them won't be able to drive themselves: @Nate_Berg: http://ping.fm/TtGJF

Alright, @Microsoft... this Day in the Life FB app is seriously cool. I'm making my movie of it now... on.fb.me/AYITLfb

10 Reasons Why Darth Vader Was a Kickass Project Manager (via @ComputerGeeks): http://ping.fm/9qdWu

"People who are drunk solve creative problems 30% faster than sober people" ~Wired guy on @ColbertNation

@KatrinaBonds: Dave Chappelle called the Tupac hologram years ago! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ai1yagSvUUI&feature=related

DJ Topsider (@BryceSail88) shows you how clever mashups can be on Mashup Breakdown: YACHT ROCK! http://mashupbreakdown.com/yacht-rock

I gotta agree with @RollingStone: hologram Tupac at @Coachella is a little "weird and disturbing" http://ping.fm/KT0E8

"Should Rick Santorum be able to abort his campaign without an invasive ultrasound?" (via @Reddit)

San Diego, here's your new theme song; literally, tears from laughing so hard: http://ping.fm/bAAdD

They ignored my name on the Do Not Call list. I ignored their dignity. http://www.callhating.com/ via @Reddit, natch!

#BROTIP: do not stick your dick in crazy...

HAPPY NATIONAL GRILLED CHEESE SAMMICH DAY! http://ping.fm/BiDON

Sometimes you just need to remove certain persons from your life...on Facebook, Twitter, Skype, iPhone, contacts, e-mail... like a rootkit.

HEY! YOU! Go get #GSharp from @KingFantastic pronto if you value your street cred: http://ping.fm/lLgBd

Listen up! @TheAdGurl is now blawgin' large out at http://theadgurl.wordpress.com/

April 8, 2014: Say goodbye to support for Windows XP and Office 2003: http://ping.fm/HbQtM

Does anyone have firsthand experience with @Microsoft's @Office365 product? Specifically AD integration to existing infrastructure?

Most brilliant Kickstarter idea yet? Camping pot uses thermoelectric power generation to charge your devices while cooking! http://ping.fm/K47Kv

@CineBeth #OCCUPYMIDIAN Extended Version of @RealCliveBarker's Nightbreed? YES PLEASE! http://ping.fm/waGb4

Fridays don't get much cooler than being followed by @ERICB "Eric B break the sticks (you got it) / Rakim will begin when you make the mix"

How to turn a $5.9T surplus into a $6T deficit, by the United States of America... via @Reddit http://i.imgur.com/QNI2F.jpg

“Pressure washing yourself will not increase intelligence or sobriety.” http://ping.fm/vD4Pq

Sometimes I solve IT problems so fast, I'm all like PEW! PEW! PEW! ---> http://i.minus.com/inwaXwVjFTHyo.gif

So much crap to do, I'm just making punchlists for tomorrow. @ThistleSpeak invoicing is supposed to make money at least...

It all started with a flow chart about people peeing on the floor at work. ..via @Reddit http://i.imgur.com/ekKnv.jpg #meme

Looks like its gonna be a hot one this weekend...stay classy San Diego! http://i.imgur.com/jg4GG.jpg

Kurt Vonnegut is a BAMF: http://www.lettersofnote.com/2012/03/i-am-very-real.html

Nothing beats a fat cat as an under-blanket space heater...

SD Mayoral candidate Nathan Fletcher quits the GOP to become an independent: http://ping.fm/qLBxC

To all you MacBook Air early-adopters, this is what I think Apple is up to next (and why I haven't bought one yet) http://ping.fm/H4Qmf

@StacyZapar: what's your take on BranchOut for Facebook? http://ping.fm/dPHuT

DaFuq with the Twitter spam to check out "WalMartUser2" etc? Can you even report spam on Twitter?

Rewatching the X-Files S1 on a rainy night...I want to believe...heh heh heh...

Just because you own high tech doesn't mean you use it effectively. Like people with expensive cameras that take crappy photos.

Khameleon808 is back at it again, this time a billion clips of video over dubstep; hat tip to @Wired: http://ping.fm/Nutuj

If an employer demands your social network passwords, tell them that is a federal crime: http://ping.fm/qT5lr

My fingers are itching and my throat is dry; sounds like the Parlour turntables are going to fire up this evening...anyone join me?

Rain is like an apocalyptic event in San Diego. Headlights on and drive safe; it'll magnify your Jameson's, folks. Happy St Paddys!

DAMN THE IDES OF MARCH! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ides_of_March

If it draws blood and kick it, it's hardware; if you can only scream and curse at it, it's software.

@KingFantastic + @Ztrip covering @FinalLevel's "Squeeze the Trigger"? IT DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS, SON! http://ping.fm/mER7d

Every time I see hawt chicks taking self-pics I just want to...clean their mirrors.

"The best way to accelerate a Macintosh is at 9.8m/sec/sec." ~Marcus Dolengo

RT @SHAQ: Proud of my company @GreenHouseIntl for building an orphanage in Ghana. http://bit.ly/xRVIwF We gotta take care of the kids.

@TheWhitePanda has done it again; grab the phreshness of Bambooyah! ASAP and revel in the mixiest of mashups! http://ping.fm/KvQx4

Via @ComputerGeeks: the difference between Geeks and Nerds [infographic] http://infographicjournal.com/geek-vs-nerd/

Apropos: in China, the Xterra is known as the Nissan Paladin. FTW.

I have two Terastation RAID arrays for sale: 0.75TB and 1.25TB, fresh format, working perfectly - PM me. Perfect for backups / media servers

Life is worth living when you enjoy your own company. I'm taking a ride with my best friend...

THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT IS TRUE: THE PRECEDING STATEMENT IS FALSE.

@KristinaRosexxx @kingfantastic @djtroublemaker @RemixTheVideo testing new AppleTV firmware with this: http://ping.fm/0sJUt

Sneakernet is not quite as fast when using 500GB drives...

I NEED MOAR BANDWIDTH! Cannot wait to get to new offices at Mission Brewery and gut and retune my Premier infrastructure.

iOS update server is unavailable. Is it volume of users or are they updating for iOS 5.1? Anyone? Voodoo economics?

White People Problems: the GOP: http://news.salon.com/2012/03/04/whats_the_matter_with_white_people/singleton/

"The Constitution guarantees due process, not judicial process." Eric Holder is SO FULL OF SEMANTIC BULLSHIT @ggreenwald http://ping.fm/OhQzY

@Skrillex drops groceries; sick beets are the result! http://i.imgur.com/xGyTL.jpg (again, via @Reddit, en fuego)

So, I decided to look into the Ethernet port on my cable modem... (via @Reddit) http://i.imgur.com/8NJds.jpg

45 Calvin and Hobbes desktops optimized for 1920x1200 courtesy of @Reddit: http://imgur.com/a/ugVR0

I'm going to say this one last time: TOILET PAPER GOES OVER THE TOP, NOT UNDER! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toilet_paper_orientation

The issue in a nutshell via @Reddit: http://ping.fm/9XbN5

I am willing to murder someone with my bare hands for #DoritosLocosTacos from @TacoBell http://www.tacobell.com/doritoslocostacos

"Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them." ~Dr. #Seuss

"and all that the Lorax left here in this mess / was a small pile of rocks with one word /
UNLESS" Happy B-Day, Dr. #Seuss!

Simple idea can save CA counties $159M per year: reduce drug possession felonies to misdemeanors like Fed laws: http://ping.fm/CwvHF

Reminder to idiot Cali drivers: TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS IN THE RAIN! It's the LAW now!

@AngiesRightLeg: you can name every single part of Angelina's body and I'll follow it... http://ping.fm/dQGME

The reality of working at a pet shelter: you have to kill them all... http://ping.fm/TV2Fu

Tomorrow is FREE PANCAKE DAY @IHOP! consumerist.com/2012/02/free-pancakes-tomorrow-at-ihop.html

Advertisers are FUCKING UP The Lorax! Apparently nothing is sacred anymore... http://ping.fm/RlSx9

#FF CORPS @StayClassySD @FirehousePB @AnalogBar @SyrahWineParlor @KingFantastic @DJTroubleMaker @SleepingGiant @Karl_Strauss @StoneBrewingCo

#FF ENGAGE! @JAHuffman @ChrisUrsitti @StacyZapar @KatrinaBonds @DeidreLShannon @MattSpencer @PatWalsh @RussGlennMusic @CineBeth @BeckiFarris

Source: http://h30565.www3.hp.com/t5/Feature-Articles/Your-Cloud-Won-t-Secure-Itself/ba-p/1712

More unique instances of malware incursions have been tracked by security software in the past 18 months than in all the preceding 18 years.

California most disliked state; HATERS GONNA HATE! Also, God has a 52% approval rating... http://www.theatlanticwire.com/national/2012/02/california-americas-least-favorite-state/49002/#.T0Q5PvIpZV0.reddit

@TacoBell: WHERE ARE MY DORITOS-SHELLED TACOS! I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL MARCH!

Obama just needs to shift marijuana from Schedule I to Schedule II and be done with it: http://ping.fm/l3zDE

As usual, the fans make better trailers than the studios; case-in-point: The Avengers Extended Mashup: http://ping.fm/LlcPF

Wake up! It's 1984! KARATEKA is getting a reboot! My inner Apple IIe is doing handsprings! http://ping.fm/alhvQ

@Skrillex means "HOMOSEXUAL SATAN WASP" This is the most hysterical nonsense I have ever read... http://ping.fm/mmdGT

The Japanese get St. Valentine's Day right: http://www.stvalentinesday.org/valentines-dayin-japan.html

Love 'em or hate 'em, The Transformers are coming back for a fourth movie. BRING BACK SOUNDWAVE, BAY! http://ping.fm/21vM6

If anyone is looking for a Senior Technical Recruiter in San Diego, message me; I have the best candidate in the US on blast!

Sony Music is DESPICABLE! Hikes price of Whitney Houston's Greatest Hits by 60% within hours of her death: http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2012/feb/13/whitney-houston-album-price

5.5 earthquake in Northern California; 31 miles NE of Eureka http://ping.fm/Ozqys

All of dance pop has been trying, and failing, since 1987 to match "I Want to Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)." http://ping.fm/NvP2B

The top 12 reasons why the mortgage settlement sucks balls: http://ping.fm/cOs5b

Fired up the turntables and playing ALL THE WHITNEY! "It's not right, but it's OK"

Godspeed, Whitney. We will always love you.

Drive through funerals since 1974, only in Compton... http://ping.fm/0ZsM9

2 celebrate @KingFantastic un-incarceration, I'm gettin' my KF T on and blastin' THE ACCIDENT DISC @DJTroubleMaker http://ping.fm/KZyYV

This is just bloody AMAZING! Proof that cats make you crazy! http://ping.fm/LFAIR

"the RIAA and MPAA have successfully expanded copyright law in their own favor sixteen times in the last 35 years" http://ping.fm/dCkcT

Daft Punk + Chic / Nile Rodgers album will be AMAZING! http://ping.fm/H3cmV

Killer Reese One of @KingFantastic incarcerated; BUY PRODUCT NOW! Get your #FREEREESE T-shirt pronto! http://ping.fm/Fdvcf

@Chevrolet: you better not have hurt any of those frogs in your apocalyptic Super Bowl commercial; please confirm! http://ping.fm/ZiwDs

"You are the music while the music lasts." ~T.S. Eliot

"TEN THOUSAND YEARS WE SLUMBERED! NOW WE RISE!" http://xkcd.com/1013/

"Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn." ~Charlie Parker

"It is a very inconvenient habit of kittens (Alice had once made the remark) that whatever you say to them, they always purr" ~Lewis Carroll

DECEPISNAILS! ABANDON THREADS! http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/29/AbandonThread.gif

"Cat said, 'I am not a friend, and I am not a Servant. I am the Cat who walks by himself, and I wish to come into your Cave.'" ~R. Kipling

Why do invoices for serious, honesty, legit work get rejected like leprosy? If you don't know, now you know...

"The reason cats climb is so that they can look down on almost every other animal...it's also the reason they hate birds." ~KC Buffington

DEFEND THE RIGHT TO REMIX! @BoingBoing http://boingboing.net/2012/01/26/eff-and-everything-is-a-remix.html

"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." ~Albert Schweitzer

holy tooth pain, great Gandalf! Anyone recommend a sedative dentist in San Diego?

"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well." ~Missy Dizick

@Wired: is your boardroom videoteleconferencing system secured? Goldman-Sachs' isn't... http://ping.fm/EOJie

"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer." ~Bruce Graham

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." ~Hal Holbrook

"There is, incidentally, no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person." ~Dan Greenberg

"For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a cat." ~Anon

MPAA hits new low in self-pity over Internet blackouts. Someone call the WAAAAMBULANCE! http://ping.fm/GvnJV

Hitler reacts to SOPA / PIPA. Freakin' hilarious. Also, fair use under Title 17, U.S.C., Section 107 http://ping.fm/9ZvVc

██ █ ████ ███████ █ ████ █████... ██ █ ████.

IT'S THE DAY THE LOLCATS DIED! http://ping.fm/VzJ9L

In other news, worldwide productivity up 1200% due to lack of @Reddit...

@Reddit is fully blacked out for SOPA/PIPA fight. TAKE ACTION! http://www.reddit.com/

Note to fans: if SOPA/PIPA passes, that is the END of Mordenkainen's Parlour...5eva. CALL YOUR REPRESENTATIVES: http://ping.fm/3MUpE

The Virtual Lilypad IS BLACKED OUT to oppose SOPA/PIPA; Wordpress.com folks, look to your settings-->Protest SOPA/PIPA and check the box!

As if the police weren't enough, NDAA pretty much says that you can call in the Army to settle "unrest" http://ping.fm/5eaRY

San Diego on blast! SANDCAMP is next weekend for Drupaly consciousness expansion! @transparatech @achieveinternet http://ping.fm/9z0ni

All of you aspiring actors, musicians, producers, and video-freaks better read this insightful @Wired article: http://ping.fm/JNTQI

"the number of 25-34 year-old adults in the U.S. living at home rose from 14 percent in 2005 to 19 percent in 2011" http://ping.fm/GkEgt

"The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who remain neutral in times of great moral conflict." ~MLK

"I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law." ~MLK

"I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." ~MLK

"Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed." ~MLK

I'm applying for both Canadian and UK (Scottish) citizenship. Thanks Mom and Dad! Call me Murdoch Bourne...

"The problem with Scotland...is that it is full of Scots!" WE WANT OUR FREEDOM! http://ping.fm/mx6d6

There's no place like 127.0.0.1...

Awww! Did you get a Twitter account for the holidays? Then follow the @froggacuda...

Know how to start a firestorm? LET'S GET RID OF CA PROP 13! http://ping.fm/ChwtD

What the fuck is it with all these celebrity-endorsed headphones? Function before form, people; they're a dumb fashion accessory.

"Beer is the cause and solution to all of life's problems." ~Homer Simpson

And all that the Lorax left here in this mess
was a small pile of rocks, with one word...
"UNLESS." ~Theodore Geisel aka Dr Seuss

Thrift store find of the week: Dr Seuss - The Lorax in pristine, crackling spine condition for $1.50. Jelly?

"The large print giveth, but the small print taketh away." ~Tom Waits, Small Change

"The only valid censorship of ideas is the right of people not to listen." ~Tommy Smothers

"The best way to accelerate a Macintosh is at 9.8m/sec/sec." ~Marcus Dolengo

"As network administrator I can take down the network...it's just like being a doctor but without getting gooky stuff on my paws" ~Dogbert

CA lawmakers: "propose and send to the states for ratification a constitutional amendment to overturn Citizens United" http://ping.fm/wQRtu

LESS QQ; MOAR PEW PEW!

What's better, Mountain Dew or Mello Yello? Discuss.

Rick Santorum has a position on "man-on-dog" sex, among other horrifying facts: http://ping.fm/Im3oi

"The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting." ~Gloria Leonard

"If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she's late? Nobody." ~J.D. Salinger, Catcher in the Rye

"Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent." ~Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.

They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst. ~Scottish Proverb

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. ~George Burns

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. ~Frank Sinatra

I don't always agree with @DarrellIssa, but when I do, it's because he is fighting SOPA: http://ping.fm/GJPOY

@lamarsmithtx21 is a douchenozzle: http://ping.fm/lDZTk

"It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake." ~Mark Twain

Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. ~Mark Twain

"New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive." ~Jay Leno